Mattering in the Third Third of Life
Recently someone gave me an article from the Wall Street Journal entitled “The Retirement Crisis No One Warns You About: Mattering” by Jennifer Breheny Wallace. It is adapted from Wallace’s new book Mattering: The Secret to a Life of Deep Connection and Purpose.
I was not familiar with the word “mattering” but the concept is something most of us think about all the time. Mattering can be defined as “the deep human need to feel valued and to have a chance to add value to the world.” It was introduced as an academic term in the 1980’s by sociologist Morris Rosenberg and if you Google it you will find all kinds of articles about it. Although it’s not a need that is limited to the third third of life, it takes on a new urgency when we retire. Many of us get our sense of mattering from our careers or from raising our children, but do we still matter when those seasons of life are over?
The obvious answer to that question is “Yes!” However, many of us struggle to feel valued and that we are adding value to the world. How do we overcome this sense that, now that we are not working, we don’t matter anymore?
The first step is to turn inward and embrace the truth of Genesis 1: 26 & 27. There we read that we were created in the image of God. We are image bearers of the Creator of the Universe. As such, we have infinite value, a value that is inherent, not achieved. In other words, our value comes from who we are as God’s image bearers, not from anything we have accomplished. The problem is that many of us have borrowed value from what we have done and accomplished, which has blinded us to the truth that we are far more valuable than our accomplishments, titles, and net worth.
The second step is to turn outward and identify the needs of the church, the community, and the world around us that we might have the resources to address. The question from a recent sermon, “What is that in your hand?” based on Exodus 4:1-5, challenges us to ask what resources God has entrusted to us. To fully evaluate our resources, we need to think of our time, talent, and treasure. An accurate assessment of these things will reveal that we are all blessed with resources to share. Thomas Daniel concluded that sermon by encouraging us to pray this prayer:
Lord God, help me to see the world the way you see it.
Let my heart break by the things that break your heart.
And help me not to duck. Amen.
You can watch that sermon HERE.
The truth is that we are infinitely valuable because we have been created in the image of God and we have much value to add to the world because of the training, abilities, passions, and experiences we have accumulated in our lives. It may take some effort to make the connection between our resources and the needs of the world, but there is a place for us in God’s work of building his kingdom and restoring the world. I’m glad to be a part of a church where so many of you are trying to figure this out.
Mattering with you,
Steve McLean, Pastoral Fellow
