Loneliness in the Third Third of Life
All the lonely people, where do they all come from? All the lonely people, where
do they all belong? “Elenor Rigby” – The Beatles
Paul McCartney wrote about old age and loneliness long before there was a lot of research on the subject. “Eleanor Rigby” is about a woman whose groceries McCartney fetched and delivered when he was a teen. Of course, loneliness is not limited to older people. In May 2023, Surgeon General Dr. Vivek Murthy issued a public health warning about the mental and physical dangers of loneliness, which is afflicting 50% of American adults. The report is entitled, “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation” and it is alarming. Click HERE to read the entire article.
Although loneliness is a challenge for people of all ages, there are some unique experiences that lead to loneliness for those of us in the third third of life. They include retirement, the death of a spouse, reduced mobility, and shrinking social circles. In response to the Surgeon General’s report, New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof wrote We Know the Cure for Loneliness. So Why Do We Suffer? Kristof points out that unlike other epidemics, the cure for loneliness is known and inexpensive.
We read in Genesis 2 that after creating Adam and giving him work to do, God observed “It is not good for the man to be alone.” (Genesis 2:18). Although we often understand this as referring to marriage, I think there is a general principle here that we see all throughout Scripture. Starting with the Triune God, who exists eternally in community, to the vision in the Book of Revelation of redeemed humanity living, working, and worshipping in community, we can see that interdependent, interpersonal relationships is the pattern woven into creation.
So, as third third disciples, how do we respond to this “epidemic of loneliness?” First, we need to recognize the dangers of loneliness to ourselves and to our ability to flourish in the third third of life. We must be intentional about connecting with others. Join a Bible study. Volunteer to serve. Meet a friend for coffee. Call up someone you haven’t seen for a while. Second, we can be a part of God’s solution to “all the lonely people.” Who do you know who might be lonely who you could reach out to? In How Gospel Community Can Overcome Loneliness, Rebecca McLaughlin shares how she and her husband rarely sit together in church, opting instead to find folks sitting alone to sit with and welcome. McLaughlin points out how many of the lonely are sitting in our pews…alone.
In a recent sermon, Thomas Daniel mentioned the Harvard Study of Adult Development that since 1938 has been studying what contributes to a fulfilling and healthy life. They have discovered that relationships and social connections are more important to happiness and health than wealth and fame. As students of the Bible, we could have told them that. As students of the Bible, we are equipped to combat the presence of loneliness in our own lives and in the lives of those around us.
Where do you see loneliness – in yourself or in others? As disciples of Jesus, what will you do about it?
Fighting back against loneliness with you,
Steve McLean, Pastoral Fellow
