Godly Grandparenting in the Third Third of Life

I am writing this from our Vrbo in suburban Philadelphia. Kim and I are on our annual summer trek to the northeast to visit five of our grandkids and their parents. We have three in the Philly area and two near Albany, NY, in addition to our granddaughter in Dallas. We have been to two choral concerts, one band concert and one orchestra concert, as well as soccer and field hockey games. We’ve also caught a prom and a fifth grade graduation. We’ve played catch, pickleball, and frisbee; Connect Four, Zingo and Don’t Break the Ice, and watched the movie, Ratatouille. We’ve had a great time and are exhausted. As you are reading this, we are on the road headed for Dallas where our 7th grandchild will arrive later this month.

Grandparenting is one of the roles some of us are called to in the third third of life. What a great privilege and responsibility! This extended time with my grandchildren has me thinking about how I can be the kind of grandfather who God can use to bless my grandchildren. Here are some thoughts:

1. Be who I want them to be – If I want them to be kind, I should model kindness. If want them to read their Bibles, I should model regular Bible reading. If I want them to be readers, I should model reading. You get the idea.
2. Pray for them regularly – I was part of a Christian businessman’s luncheon in Reading, PA that included three cousins, all who were leaders in their churches and the community. Someone once asked them how this happened, and they attributed their faith and leadership to their grandfather who prayed five minutes each day for each of his grandchildren. It took him almost an hour to cover them all. We may not be able to do that, but we can all pray regularly for our grandchildren. My practice is to pray for one of my grandchildren each day. What’s your plan for praying regularly for your grandchildren?
3. Be a part of their lives in whatever way I can – For our granddaughter in town we can babysit, attend school events and ballgames, and host her for sleepovers. For our out-of-town grandchildren, it is a little trickier. We try to schedule trips to see their Christmas and end of the year musical concerts. And we take advantage of video and phone calls, Zoom, texting and Marco Polo videos to communicate with them.
4. Stay in my lane – A couple of years ago Pete Deison of PCPC spoke to our Third Thursday Luncheon on grandparenting. One thing he said that really stood out to me was that it was important to remember that I am a grandparent, not a parent to my grandchildren. In that role I can be a great support to my kids as they raise my grandchildren. But if I cross the line into trying to parent my grandchildren, this can create resentment and confusion. Of course, if you are raising a grandchild, you are in a parental role.

I encourage you to check out the Legacy Coalition Christian Grandparenting Ministry website. They have all kinds of resources including articles, podcasts, videos and an annual conference. And each week they host Grand Monday Nights, a one-hour online webinar on a variety of subjects.

As I think back to my grandparents, it was my maternal grandmother who had the greatest impact on my life. I don’t think it is a coincidence that she was the one grandparent who loved Jesus. I remember her devotion to attending worship, praying, and reading the Bible. She was always the one I most enjoyed visiting. I suspect that I am who I am, partially, because of her prayers for me. I want to be that kind of grandparent to my grandchildren.

Don’t forget to pray for VBS (June 9-12)! 

Steve McLean, Pastoral Fellow